I want you to know that I have probably been where you are right now. Even if it is at your worst or your best or during recovery. I ahve been there. I feel like with self harm it is not really about how serious your scars are on your body (yes in a way that too because you can have very bad injuries) but it is about how you feel on the inside. It’s about that voice that makes you do those things. The sad thing is that people don’t really get this part. The scars are simply a reflection of one’s emotions. And it is extremely hard to fight, I know. But it is totally possible. Yes, I still have the scars and you can kinda see them if you look close but the ironic thing is. I never made them very deep because somehow I knew I would get through it all.
To me recovery means deciding you want to quit. That is the most important part. How badly do you want that other life? Because I wanted very badly to be happy. I threw out everything I would use to do it with and I fought my mind. I told myself it was okay to feel that way and that I didn’t have to cut because it wasn’t who I was. And yes, you might cut again but that doesn’t mean you failed. If you keep trying, you keep fighting….it’s not failure. It is possible to recover but you have to let go of that sadness. If you truly, badly wnat to be happy then you will be. It’s only up to you.
p.s.: Hope you are okay. ❤