Diary Days – n.4 – Restless between ADVENTURES

I am a big believer in the fact that you should do everything you ever wanted to do before you die. I can’t remember when exactly but there just was a point in my life like two months ago or so when I said:“Enough. I don’ want this life anymore.” It went hand in hand with my confidence being boosted. And I kinda set myself free I guess. I still struggled emotionally with like trying to be good enough for boys but I don’t do that anymore. I wanna be enough for myself. I wanna do so many things. Like I learned to skate….kinda…..I skate on the pennyboard but now I wanna get a legit skateboard ’cause it’s cooler. And I wanna have a legit skateboard. Lifelong dreams. Also, I wanna be just so adventurous and restless, spontanious. And a way to do that is getting my dream body because that way I am happier and more confident and I feel cooler, more free and like the person I truly am. I ahve been trying to fit into this box of expectations because I liked this guy for so long that I haven’t even been truly myself for years. I feel like I found him and lost myself. But now I feel like I am becoming more and more me again. I am gonna get my dream body, be strong as hell, do more gymnastics because I am just gonna do that because I love it and it is a part of me. I am gonna write and paint. Read. And my new thing…well….a thing as old as my soul I wanna say….I have always wanted to play te guitar so I am getting a guitar in the near future. I don’ like spending my life waiting. I don’t wanna wait for anything because there are so many things I wanna do and there is so little time. I have this dream, this passion that is driving me crazy and I am never gonna give it up for anything. I am gonna do all those things. I wanna actually complete my bucket list because I love life and wanna live to the fullest. I want adventure. I want freedom. I want endless sunsets. I just wanna die in a way that I did everything I possibly could and wanted. 



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