Diary Days – n.9 – Can’t even deal with life right now

Today has been so just….not even sad but empty. Today I just can’t even deal with life. I am overwhelmed by how much I have on my TO DO list. I have been anxious about it for a while now and as my anxiety got worse I got more tired because being anxious really tires your body. So I couldn’t get myself to do anything today. I am not even in the mood for anything. I don’t even wanna watch the Halloween movies. I feel like it is going to end up with me watching FRIENDS because that fixes my mood no matter what. ( Kinda proud of myself ’cause I finished watching it for the seventh time now). I wanted to do something meaningful today, something inspiring but I just can’t even bring myself to do that right now. And you know what, it is okay. It is okay to feel this way sometimes. We got through highs and lows. That is how life is. I really want to create more and more inspiring content and something that actually matetrs but I feel like it is important to show this as well because I am not always happy, I am not always confident, feeling beautiful, feeling inspired, motivated. I am HUMAN. I get like this as well. But I make sure to work on it. I am staiyig home tomorrow because of this and because of my leg as well. The thing is….I think it is completely okay to skip school for a mental health day. I do it often. I feel like if it helps you, if it is gonna do something good then just stay home. It is important to take care of your mental health as well. I just wanna chill tonight or I don’t even know. I feel nothing at this point. I am gonna GYST ( that is when you get your shit together) and I am going to learn tomorrow and then go to school on Tuesday. That is the plan. This is my moment of weakness. Everything is gonna be alright. I know so.

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