I wanted to write about this topic again because it is an undeniable part of me. I haven’t cut in a long time and I never intend to ever again. I stopped counting the days I was clean for because I wanted to be clean forever. And I will be. I have too many great things in my life to feel that way again. I felt bad the other day, so bad that usually back then I would cut probably. However, there would be times after I stopped doing it regularly, that I would be very sad and somehow resort in cutting again. But only once and I would wake up the next morning and be like: “What the hell? You are stupid! This doesn’t solve a thing.” And the things is, I can call myself stupid because it is me insulting me XD but people who cut feel bad and their actions are a result of that. It is a mental illness after all which means they are not exactly at fault.
I believe I have less things now than I had back then probably and I still feel better. And it was actually right around Christmas when it was the worst. It is also an addiction. But you can always get through everything. The thing is, you have to want to get better. And today I am here, striving, living my best life to be honest. There are many things which hurt me and scared me but these experiences shaped me into the person I am. I am happy now. I may be struggling sometimes but I am happy as hell because I appreciate life for what it is. I live every day as if it was going to be my last. I seize my days and make my life extraordinary. Just do what you love. If you have people that love you, a roof over your head, food to eat and clothes to wear you are probably doing quite okay. (:<3