Oh boy, is this a good story. I didn’t wanna give the guy a nickname because with the one I am thinking of everyone would know. So I was heartbroken from my crush before this one and that scared me so much that I decided that I would never love someone again until I met a boy who came at least close to my perfect, ideal guy. Let me walk you though what that was: “Longer brown hair, dark brown/blue eyes, glasses, tall, skinny. Liked rock, anime, cartoons, poetry, classic novels, art, played the guitar. Hopeless romantic. ” Now, these aren’t like requirements. This was me playing around in my head and thinking about what that guy could be. It is like a boy version of me in a way as well. So tell me, How the hell does it happen, that this idea of mine, comes to life and this guy just appears from nowhere? HOW?! Because that is what happened. HOW? I still don’t know at all. Of course, I fell in love with him because duh! He was my perfect guy. Or at least I thought so. Long story short, he turned out to be kind of an asshole in the end lol. My life is a joke, I know. It’s how my life goes.
However what I learned is that the “perfect guy” wasn’t the right guy and it was right after this that I started caring more about my confidence, my self worth. Of course it dropped again but yes. It was just baaaaad. I was crazy during this to be honest. We would go to the station many times and we would just walk in silence the whole time. But he didn’t want me there. He didn’t. And I was just there walking. It is crazy. I feel like it taught me to be less obsessive. Don’t ever do that. Just live your life. Don’t ever beg for someone to love you, for their affection, for their time. If someone wants to be with you, see you. They will. I feel like it also gave me freedom and made me more open towards the idea of any guy. I had my ideals and after this I just didn’t really care that much about what they guy liked or so. I have come to the conclusion that it is not the things they love that makes you liek a person but simply how they carry themselves, how they act and behave. Just simply them. So yeah.
What it truly taught me is that you can’t just design the person you are going to be with. It is going to come sooner or later. Truly, as I go on I am learning that the less you care, the better it is.