On one hand I had times when I was so anxious, dissociating and messed up that going to class was just unimaginable.It is also awful to be honest because I kinda like school and it is my last year. It makes me feel sad that my anxiety gets so bad at times that I can’t go to school because I can barely breathe and I can’t see my friends. There are certain people you simply meet in the hall, they know you, you say hi, give them a smile and it makes your day that you saw them. I didn’t choose to have anxiety and it is really a terrible thing you know.
However I have to say that sometimes, after I was home for a while, I go to school and my mood just gets better. I see my friends, talk to them, we hug each other. And especially my class. I look around at those people and somehow I feel like there is more to life. It makes me feel like I am just a regular teenager with regular old problems. They make me forget that I actually have anxiety. I try to have normal experiences. I am not an extraordinary soul but I love my ordinary experiences like “let’s just ditch the last lesson”, “let’s go and drink together”, “we have this test and we hate it but we gotta do it”, “we hate this teacher cause she is awful”. Stuff like that. I absolutely love it because it is like experiencing everything in life. What a blessing that we get to do all of that. My class makes me feel better. I don’t care about whether I am accepted, liked or whatever. I just like the fact that we get to do all this stuff together and that we have been together for such a long time. We have seen each other almost every day for 8 years. It feels like a second family.
So yeah…sometimes it does help.