Why having straight As was the worst thing in my life

Last year I had amazing grades because I wanted to prove the teachers that they were wrong and that I could get better grades. You should’ve seen the face of the physics teacher when she had to give me an A. The reason for my upsetting is truly that every teachers expects me to just be perfect at the subject because both of us know that I can do it. I totally can. I know I can. I just don’t want to on one hand and on the other hand my anxiety and mental issues make it harder. But it bugs me because it is not even my fault. I didn’t choose to be messed up like this.

I just want to say that your grades do not define you at all. I used to think I was defined by my straight As but I am not. I had them, everybody loved me for it but I was miserable and depressed. I didn’t even write at that time. I was basically only learning, doing drama and that’s it. I need to put time and a lot of effort into learning so it is time consuming. It sucked the life right out of me. But I had straight As so I must have been happy, right? No. I am so much more than that. And you are as well. Those numbers don’t mean a thing. I have great English, make ART and write and I am smart in situations when it comes to life. You can’t really put a grade on that. And you can do something great, too. I am sure about it. As long as you are happy it doesn’t matter. The thing is that in order to have straight As later on in life you have to work your butt off. I used to envy the people who go to have straight As and I didn’t. I just didn’t understand how they could have so much time and also live a life besides that. The answer is that some of those people who have straight As might not really do anything else besides that. I was so focused on trying to do everything but I can’t. And that is okay. I might not have straight As anymore but I do so many things outside of school that those people might not do. I wrote a whole freaking play which is awesome, I actually read books, I paint a lot, I write my blog, I already wrote around 14 000 words for my book, learned to skate and so on. 

Thank you. I refuse to have anxiety over something as stupid as having an "A" or "B." What matters is comprehension and having the knowledge to form your own opinion.

Life is not only about school. There are many things that one can do and still live a happy life with Bs or Cs on their report.


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