Honestly, I am so fucking happy these days. I graduated with straight As. I got into one of the universities I applied to. I am eating healthy and working out. Life is just swell.
I am chilling over here, reading, writing but to keep it real, I just watch youtube and tv shows and movies all day. It is okay. I am not going to be stuck here in my room all summer. I got friends to meet and things to do. I went to a job interview yesterday and I hope I get it. I am going on Sunday as my kind of first day. They will see how I handle the job and they will decide whether they are taking me or not. Which also reminds me I gotta call them. You know, me with anxiety, that is such a scary thing. But I am challenging myself to do these things. Adulting as I said. I feel like such an adult actually. Because I do all these things that I never thought I would. I know I always bring up my driving but I went through so much anxiety to get that license and I am proud of myself.
I am just so glad I decided to take my life into my own hands. Working out and eating good foods seems simple but it resolves a lot of anxiety and body consciousness for me. It almost allows me to be more myself, more fun, happier. Truly. And I just came to a point somehow where I am just so happy with myself that I let go of wanting anybody. I couldn’t care less about whether it happens or not. I simply want to ride my bike, hang out with my friends, watch the sunset a lot, listen to ROCK and so on.
On the other hand it is also scary. I am so happy that I fear it could be taken away from me. But I don’t want to think about that. These emotions always change which is why I want to enjoy it as long as it lasts. Live in the NOW!